i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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