but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
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