the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
