Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
