He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
