next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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