it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
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