Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Randomize
