I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
