I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
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