he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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