I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
