garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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