So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize