My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
