Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
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