Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Randomize
