People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
