another moral hangover. fuck.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize