I'm going to jail i love you
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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