i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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