talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
