Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
