I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
