woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
