trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
