Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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