im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
