just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
