I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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