so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize