your parents love me but you hate me
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
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