it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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