can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
