i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
