D3 body, D1 cock
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize