He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
