It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
My balls are so social today.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
