just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
