Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
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