Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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