Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize