So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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