it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
