i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
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