I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
