I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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