the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
