i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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