Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
