im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
