I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
