oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
