he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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