I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
How external is "for external use only"?
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
