His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
