yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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