We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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