So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
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