I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
