I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Randomize
