No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
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