He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize