Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
