So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Randomize
